her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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