You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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