Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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