My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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