i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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