my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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