Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
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I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
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he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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