I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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