Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize