he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize