Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
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I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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