I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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