So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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