dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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