I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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