life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize