I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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