There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize