I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize