please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize