matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize