I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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