why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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