Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.

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(604): My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry. http://tfl.nu/6crc

Replies (8) Good night (396) Bad night (1520) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at

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(651): I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at http://tfl.nu/8c2c

Replies (4) Good night (671) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

Just got to costco. Where are you?

(602): View more from Arizona

Liquor aisle, bring another cart.

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(773): Just got to costco. Where are you? (602): Liquor aisle, bring another cart. http://tfl.nu/c1j1

Replies (33) Good night (15224) Bad night (690)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.

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(609): Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand. http://tfl.nu/nkg8

Replies (44) Good night (15570) Bad night (1475) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)

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(720): For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented) http://tfl.nu/wdah

Replies (10) Good night (3208) Bad night (1355)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.

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(502): Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat. http://tfl.nu/hdie

Replies (16) Good night (5582) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp

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(443): and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp http://tfl.nu/f0ut

Replies (32) Good night (1796) Bad night (4284) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

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(317): Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day. http://tfl.nu/olid

Replies (23) Good night (4610) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.

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(780): I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe. http://tfl.nu/j3zt

Replies (13) Good night (773) Bad night (2059) Order T-Shirt
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(804): View more from Virginia

Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.

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(804): Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now. http://tfl.nu/gokp

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.

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(405): All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before. http://tfl.nu/9m83

Replies (9) Good night (465) Bad night (1247)
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(207): View more from Maine

It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.

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(207): It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective. http://tfl.nu/0c9h

Replies (6) Good night (1778) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?

(1+44): View more from

It's a podium place so yeah...

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(+44): Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right? (1+44): It's a podium place so yeah... http://tfl.nu/cezg

Replies (7) Good night (1164) Bad night (271) Order T-Shirt
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(859): View more from Kentucky

you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...

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(859): you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection. (1-859): ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave... http://tfl.nu/0oli

Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (423)
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(914): View more from New York

low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..

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(914): low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen.. http://tfl.nu/o2yv

Replies (2) Good night (165) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt

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