I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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