It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize