im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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