i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize