I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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