You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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