My liver just broke up with me...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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