Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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