I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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