he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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