areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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