I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
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But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
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Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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