reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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