This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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