I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He felt like a one man threesome
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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