Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize