my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
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No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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