I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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