Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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