I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
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Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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