your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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