O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize