Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize