1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize