i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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