we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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